super_top_tens_wowfandomcom-20200214-history
10 Fascinating Inventions that Pale in Comparison to the Helicopter
Let's face it: some things are pretty cool. Humans have invented a lot of useful tools, gadgets, and machines. However, one stands above the rest: the helicopter. 12,000 pounds (5443 kg) of pure, unadulterated, American freedom flying through the sky is a force to be reckoned with. With that said, we'll be taking a look at some close runner ups. Methamphetamine Methamphetamine is a pretty hard drug. One hit and you'll be in la la land for a few hours. Meth can be smoked, injected, or crammed through one's urethra. We highly recommend against that last option. Gary tried that once. It was a hard explanation to the cops as to why he was pissing out Meth. Fucking Gary... Alternatively, just take a joy flight in your helicopter. A helicopter also has guns to shoot anyone that wants you to do drugs. Don't do drugs; fly a helicopter. Segways Segways are a fun, quick way to get around. They're basically a little, automatic scooter that you stand on and it goes forward. Segways can also function as a weapon, allowing the user to hop off and swing the apparatus around their head like a club. Your opponent either laugh themselves into submission at the sight of you riding a segway, or suffer major internal fractures with the segway hitting their skull, causing severe brain damage, impairing motor skills permanently. Alternatively, you could fly in style in your new helicopter. Who needs an automatic scooter when you have a giant metal hummingbird with guns? Ford® Focus™ The Ford® Focus™ is a sedan created by American-based automobile company Ford®. ''With prices for the Ford® Focus™ starting at $16,775, or leasing at $143/mo, and an EPA estimated gas mileage of 25 city and 34 highway, the Ford® Focus™ is a great candidate for an affordable and economic luxury sedan. Alternatively, drive a real car. And by drive, I mean pilot. And by real car, I mean your helicopter. Irrigation Is farming too difficult? Are you tired of having to walk to the river every day to water your fields and hydrate your people? Well, then we have the miracle invention for you: irrigation! With this newfangled technology, you can bring the river right to your rice fields. No more making the treacherous 5 mile hike through the desert to fetch a pail of water. Alternatively, air-drop your water from your helicopter. Why work for your dihydrogen monoxide when you can fly it in from countries that don't have helicopters. The Horseshoe Have you ever thought to yourself, "Man, I like throwing metal crescents at metal poles sticking out of the ground, but I wish I could create a game out of it."? Me too. So I invented the horseshoe. With a horseshoe, you can challenge your friends at tossing hardened steel at one another. The loser is the one who goes home with a broken tibia. Alternatively, play a game with your helicopter. How close to the center of the helipad can you land your helicopter? Answer: not close, since you don't need some sissy-ass helipad to tell you where you can and cannot land your helicopter. You create the landing pad with your helicopter. There are no rules. Darts Darts. A classic game of throwing sharp objects at a wall, all from the fun of your own home... or the bar's back room after a few drinks. It's a fun game to play with friends. Just don't let Gary get a hold of them, he gets too riled up after only a single shot. Fucking Gary... Alternatively, shoot the guns from your helicopter. You can get quite a few shots off in the time it takes to throw a dart, and you're highly likely to land a bullseye anyway. Or, you might hit Gary. Fucking Gary... The Loom Let's face it. Clothes are pretty good. Most people wear them. You probably are right now. I'm not from the waist down. Do you want to make your own clothes? Use a loom. Forgot grandma's knitted sweater, you can make your own sick threads in a jiffy. Alternatively, weave you clothes on a helicopter rotor. You can get at least two going at once, and pretty fast, considering they spin really fast. Imagine the sweet designs you could get with a quadruple rotor. Create the year's hottest Christmas sweater, and have a story to tell about your suspiciously missing arm. They'll both be sure to pick up all the ladies at your next family gathering. The Oculus Rift VR is the hottest new tech in video games right now. It places you right into the world of the game, immersing you into the action. For only a few hundred dollars, you too can lose yourself in the world of the likes of ''DOOM, Skyrim, or the widely acclaimed Nekopara. Alternatively, just look outside the cockpit of a helicopter. The whole world is up for sightseeing, the only cost is the fuel to fly there. Who needs to simulate the world when you can see it all right in front of you? You don't, that's for sure, since you have your helicopter. Better yet - your helicopter can deliver you to wherever you want to go! The Oculus Right is all fake. Pornography Everybody watches pornography. Recent studies show that 87% of males watch pornography, 13% of males are liars, and 124% of statistics are made up. Just don't get caught with your pants down. Alternatively, spank it to the sheer beauty of a helicopter. Have you seen the curves on those things? Perfection. Better yet, spank it to your helicopter while riding in your helicopter. Get the best of both worlds, and spread your seed to the helicopter-less chumps down below. Those weird socks with the toes in them Socks are like mittens; they hold your entire foot in one spot without much wiggle room. Those weird socks with the toes in them, are like gloves. They allow for full toe movement, increasing dexterity, stability, and agility tenfold. All at the cost of looking like a complete dweeb. Alternatively, you could wear a pair of helicopters on your feet. Be the envy of your friends and the coolest kid at prom when you waltz on in wearing two helicopters. Category:Science n' Shit